Getting fitted for a bra is one of those things that no one wants to do, but after you have it done, you start noticing that everyone else needs a fitting, too. All of a sudden, you’ll be the expert on how a bra should fit. You’ll see that most women don’t really know what size they wear, despite what they think, and you’ll want to tell them all to get a fitting, too. I’m not sure why women are so resistant to it, but believe me, once you get a professional fitting, you’ll be a convert.

In my experience, one of the most common problems is that women wear a cup size that is too small for them, and a band size that is too large. When they attempt to fit themselves, they seem to start by choosing a band and shoulder straps that are as loose and comfortable as possible (which means they provide almost no support), and then they try to make up for it by wearing a tight cup, hoping that this alone will hold the breasts in place. Not only does it not work, we’ve all seen the four-breasted syndrome, where the cup is too tight, cutting each breast in half, with the top half pooching out over the horizontal line caused by the edge of the cup. Not only is it not an attractive look in itself, it can ruin the overall appearance of what might be an otherwise stunning outfit.

After seeing the light and becoming the evangelist of professional bra fittings, I have taken countless friends to be fitted, and only one girl was ever found to be wearing the correct size. Even considering the wide variety of different bodies, and different places I have gone to get fittings, in almost every case the girl getting fitted was shocked at how much smaller her band size needed to be, and how much larger the cup size needed to be. In my own case, I went through my entire adult life thinking I was a 38D, and I thought my bras looked pretty good on me and supported me well. When the fitter told me that my true bra size was 34F, I thought, this woman doesn’t have a clue what she’s talking about. She brought me a 34F, and even while I was trying it on, I thought it didn’t feel right in the slightest. I thought it was way too snug, and too big in the cup. Then she got it adjusted, and asked me to turn sideways and look at my profile in the mirror.

Wow. I was speechless. I could honestly say I’d never looked that good in a bra before. Even better, I could move around all I wanted, and nothing jiggled. I was afraid the bigger cup would be too loose, but with the smaller band size finally giving me a proper foundation for the first time in my life, I found that the bigger cup allowed for more fluid movement, without the risk of the breasts “escaping,” like they often do from smaller cups. After that, I was sold on getting professionally fitted. Since fittings are usually free at most lingerie stores, I get fitted once a year, because the human body does change shape and size over time, especially if you’re like me and your weight tends to fluctuate a bit.

Choosing the right kind of bra is also of utmost importance. As the fitting expert will advise you, the bigger your breasts are, the more sturdy the straps and band need to be. Tiny spaghetti straps and floaty balconette bras may look petite and feminine on the mannequin, but it won’t be so attractive if one or both of your breasts spills out when you lean forward, or bounces around randomly while you walk. Even if you are relatively small-breasted, if you’re having to stop every five minutes to go to the restroom and “put yourself back together,” your bra is not sturdy enough for daily wear, and is not giving you the support you need, which is the whole point of wearing a bra in the first place. These days there are plenty of attractive and even sexy bras built for women with busts of any size, and if you really do insist on having one of the ultra-erotic flimsy bras, just buy it for home use, perhaps in the sort of situation where you’d only be wearing it for a few minutes anyway, if you get my drift.

I really cannot stress what a difference professional bra fittings have made in both my appearance and my overall comfort level. Wearing the correct size bra has even helped my posture, and has certainly boosted my self-confidence. Now, if I try on a bra in the size that I used to wear for many years, I can’t believe that I ever thought it supported me or looked in the least bit attractive. There’s bound to be a lingerie shop near you that does fittings (most major department stores do them for free), so next time you’re out shopping, take a few minutes to get professionally fitted and change your bra size for the better. You won’t believe what a dramatic difference it makes.