Makeup and girls are things that have gone hand in hand for generations. From dolls to kitchenettes with usable bake ware, tea party sets, and dress up items, girls’ play things are all about taking care of the home and entertaining, all while being independent and looking beautiful.  The beautification process includes a variety of items like jewelry, fancy clothes, make up, and other must-have accessories.

With all the teen and preteen shows that are on television, in movies, and merchandised in stores, the market for more realistic makeup and beauty items has greatly increased. Store shelves are full of themed cosmetic items for such shows as Hannah Montana and High School Musical.

But real-like makeover options are not just limited to the preteens and teenagers. Cartoons are getting in on the action with characters such as Tinker Bell, Bratz, and Dora the Explorer having their own line of beauty products. There are also stores that not only carry all the latest trendy, girly products, they also offer in-store makeovers for girls of all ages. Whether toddlers or preteens, or somewhere in the middle, girls can have the works, including makeup, hair, nails, and accessories.

Playing pretend dress-up is not only fun, but can also seem to give girls the practice they need for when they get older and are ready for real dress-up. How wonderful! Right? Well, yes it is great, when a girl has reached the appropriate age. But when is that? Yes, it’s true that every person develops at their own pace. No two people are the same. And for the most part, for decisions such as these, it’s really up to the parents to decide what that age is. Yet, how do we parents actually determine that?

Should it be based on what our parents did? My mother didn’t really wear much makeup, or at least it didn’t seem like she did, although her makeup drawer was full of all kinds of cool tubes, compacts, brushes, colors, powders, etc. She allowed us to wear colorless lip gloss or chap stick when we turned 10. At 13 we could start to wear colored lip gloss, and at 16 we were allowed to wear eye liner, and a bit of blush. I will never forget how she explained that makeup was meant to enhance your natural beauty, not cover it up — unless you were a clown. If I follow my mother’s lead, my child’s make up usage will be limited to her pretend makeovers with various lip glosses until she is a teenager.

Should it be based on what everyone else is doing? I mean if “all” the other girls at school are doing it, why should my daughter be the only one left out? That reminds me of a phrase my mother use to say, and I have heard echoed from my very own lips, “if everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?” I hated that phrase growing up because it just seemed like one of Mom’s creative way of saying “no”. Now I see that what she was really trying to teach me was to be my own person rather than following the pack. Just because everyone else is doing it doesn’t make it right for me, or my daughter.

Should it be based on what fashion trend experts say? After all, they are considered experts for a reason. They must know something, right? Well, I don’t like or agree with all the fashion trends out there, so I can’t say that I completely agree with all their assessments of what’s in, what’s out, and what’s right. Personally, I think some fashion items for little girls are just small replicas of fashion items for adult women. There are some things (I said some) out there that I personally feel are just completely inappropriate for young girls. Elementary and Middle school girls wearing clothes that are too short, too low cut, too tight, too high, and/or too sexy, and wearing more make up than most adult women — all because that’s “what’s in” right now. Well, I’m thinking that I prefer not to have my daughter dress according to all that’s “in”.

Every parent is different, just as every child. What might be okay for one girl at age 9 may not be okay for another girl until she’s 13. Each parent must assess their own child, their environment, and the values and lessons they are trying to teach in order to determine what is appropriate. I’m personally thinking that my sweet, girly girl will not be wearing more than colored lip gloss until she’s at least thirteen.