To say I was flooded with emotion when I saw the video of Salma Hayek nursing a hungry African baby, is to put it mildly. As I watched that little baby nurse eagerly, I couldn’t help myself. The tears just flooded my eyes and made their way down my cheeks.

It took me back to a day last year, when similar emotions took over as I read the news article about Jiang Xiaojuan, a Chinese police officer, breastfeeding several infants in the devastating aftermath of the earthquake in China. Hailed as a hero, Jiang was embarrassed by the attention and was matter-of-fact about what she did:

“I am breast-feeding, so I can feed babies. I didn’t think of it much,” she said. “It is a mother’s reaction and a basic duty as a police officer to help.”

At one time, Jiang was nursing up to nine infants. Five of the babies were orphans, some had injured mothers, and another infant’s mom was unable to produce milk after the trauma of the quake. To Jiang, it was a “small thing”. To the media, it was enough of a “thing” to call her China’s Number 1 mother.

To me, these are stories that are amazingly beautiful. Others don’t react so positively, however. Cross nursing and wet nursing are frowned upon and reactions range from “That’s gross,” to “That’s completely unhealthy.” Even breastfeeding an adopted infant these days is met with strange, and almost offended, reactions. Somehow, a gift of love has turned into an act that is “weird” and even seen as twisted — offering one’s breast to a strange baby.

There are differences between the topics at hand, although the reactions are the same. Cross nursing is specified by nursing mothers, temporarily and infrequently nursing each other’s infants. This may take place on only one occasion or it may take place on several occasions, such as in a day care situation.

Wet nursing, on the other hand, is a lactating woman nursing a baby consistently because the birth mom is unable to do so. This is not something that is off-and-on, but instead becomes as routine as any nursing mother-infant scenario.

Nursing an adopted infant is done either through induced lactation or re-lactation. Induced lactation is helping a woman achieve lactation who has never been pregnant. This can be done through medications, herbs, and stimulation. Re-lactation is helping a woman who has lactated at some point in her life, get back to that place. Although this is still a fairly new idea, more and more adoptive moms are choosing this option.

While the La Leche League gives positive feedback on adoptive mothers breastfeeding their infants, they are not so supportive when it comes to cross nursing or wet nursing. In part of their official statement on the subject they state:

La Leche League does not encourage or suggest wet nursing or cross nursing of infants. Indeed, the practice is discouraged for a number of physical and psychological reasons.

If a mother says she plans to cross nurse we can point out the hazards. Most important is the hazard of potential infection for mother and baby. In recent years, the media have reported various “new” viruses and diseases. We are all more aware that the possibility of transmitting infections is heightened. Fear of infection has caused mothers who once shared breastfeeding in a child care situation to no longer consider cross nursing as an option.

The statement also goes on to cite the concern that women who cross nurse often deplete their milk so that their own infants are not sufficiently nourished. Furthermore, they point out that each mother’s breastmilk is unique to her and her infant, so that what one mom has in her breastmilk may not be what the cross-nursed infant needs, nutritionally speaking.

In the same article, the League also voices the concern that in studies involving cross-nursed infants, the infants show a psychological and emotional disturbance, especially when the woman nursing them speaks. Because she does not have Mama’s voice, nor her scent, this leads to confusion and whimpering.

Each of the arguments presented above are logical and ones that I can fully understand. I would even go so far as to agree that casually done cross-nursing, such as in babysitting situations, should not be done. However, in cases like what we saw with Salma Hayek and Jiang Xiaojuan, the alternative is worse — nursing infants who will die without some sort of nourishment. For women to offer the gift of life, via their breastmilk, to me, is one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard of.

This is the same for adoptive mothers. Adoptive moms who have not given birth to their babies miss out on the first nine months of that baby’s life. There is no bonding during pregnancy and to go through the process of inducing lactation (not an easy one to go through), to me, is as sacrificial as a pregnancy can be. Not only that, but what an amazing opportunity for a newly adoptive mom to be able to bond with her baby in one of the most intimate acts of motherhood!

I have thought this over a lot the past few days and run a few scenarios in my head. I already know I would breastfeed an adopted baby but I wondered what I would do if a situation presented itself in which a baby, not my own, needed to be nursed for a few days.

For instance, what if a friend of mine was in a car accident and she was a nursing mother? Perhaps the accident left her unable to breastfeed in the immediate days following the accident, yet she expressed a desire for her baby to continue nursing when she was up and around. What would I do? Would I nurse her baby until she was able to do so again?

After soul searching and questioning, I came to the conclusion that, yes, I would nurse the baby. I would do it in a heartbeat.

In having this discussion with my husband he said that it was my body and I could do what I wanted, but he found the whole idea “weird”. This, too, has had me wondering. Why do we find it weird?

There was a time when my best friend nursed her sister’s baby for three days, when her sister was very ill and in the hospital. I was not married and still quite a few years away from being a mother and I remember having the same reaction as my husband by thinking, “Ok, that’s just weird.” As I think back on that, I realize that my thought process went that way because, to me, breasts were sexual, and somehow it was wrong to share them with an infant that hadn’t come from my body.

That all changed when I became a mother. All of a sudden my breasts went beyond my femininity and sexuality. They became an amazing way to nourish a baby. They were something that could give life and were the ultimate expression of an act of love. If I knew I had the ability to give life and love with my breastmilk, I would do it with a heart full of joy and love. And like Jiang, I would not see it as something heroic, but simply as something that a mother does.

Additional note: Join us in our forum thread on this subject and add your thoughts to this article. Would you wet-nurse or cross-nurse an infant if a situation presented itself? Maybe you have done something like that. We’d love to hear your story!

*The following video contains footage of Salma Hayek nursing an infant.