Shoes come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. They can be found with straps, buckles, lace, feathers, polka dots, and stripes.  There are tall ones, short ones, fat ones, skinny ones, pretty ones, and ugly ones. Some are just for function while others are just for fashion. So, with all those varieties to choose from, why are some shoes so ugly?

Normal Wear and Tear

If the fashion police showed up at your door right now, would you be found guilty of harboring ugly shoes? Like the shoes that have worn-in air conditioning, the casual shoes that have been transformed into flip flops, or the black shoes with the scuffs colored in with black marker? Any of these could serve as evidence against you! Maybe even better are the fashionably acceptable shoes you can now buy that already appear to be worn and torn. The correct terminology for these higher priced accessories is “distressed” (just like furniture).

A Bit of Bling

It’s one thing to bedazzle your shirt, jeans, or jacket. It’s something else to decorate your shoes! Now, I have seen a simple pair of pumps be beautifully transformed by a pair of clip-on earrings. However, the pom-poms, swirly laces, and diamond studs do not a cute pair of shoes make. Neither do the pin or dangly shoe accessories that are currently available for purchase in shoe departments everywhere. Of course, in recent years, shoe designers have started incorporating a bit of bling on shoes during the design and production process. Fashionable or not, some of the ugliest shoes around are ones that have been abhorrently enhanced by any of these choices of decor.

Creative Shoe Designers

Despite the first two types of ugly shoes, the biggest culprits are shoe designers! Every year there is a surge of hideous shoe designs that are more fit for an art museum than actual wear. In the very least the public exposure to these crimes in the name of fashion should be extremely limited. Take the High Tide Heel for instance. Who could ever forget these heeled flippers from a couple years ago that came in a variety of bright colors? Just perfect if you are ever at a party on a boat and the only way back to shore is to swim for it.

A more recent culprit is Urban Outfitters, whose take on the flip-flop has built-in socks. I guess the concept of wearing socks with sandals is no longer limited to senior citizens! There’s also the black, patent leather, strappy sandals by Karl Lagerfeld that have a skirt-looking cone attached to the ankle straps. They also come in a flat strappy sandal. Speaking of sandals, some of the ugliest choices, such as Birkenstocks, Tevas, and Crocs, actually gained popularity with people from all walks of life who were apparently more into comfort than decent looking footwear.

Speaking of comfort, there’s always the ugly shoe whose name sounds like what people think when they see them — Ugg. How a boot goes from functional for sheepherders to fashionable for beach bods and young adults is beyond me! Finally, the designers of orthopedic shoes for the elderly and those with feet issues should be ashamed of themselves! What did these people ever do to you?

Ugly shoes are everywhere! You can’t get away from them! They’re in our closets and on the feet of people everywhere. Some we make ourselves and some we buy that way. Despite this, one thing rings true: whether shoes are “distressed”, blingy, comfortable, or just creative, there is no excuse for ugly!

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(Original photo by styleserver, used under Creative Commons license.)