As our children get older and start exercising their independence, one of the things they want to do is go to the bathroom by themselves, whether that is in a bathroom at home, at a friend’s house, or out in public. The first two places aren’t necessarily issues, however the third one potentially is. So how do you determine when your child is ready to use a public restroom by themselves? Every child is different, so even if you have three children, or more, the answer is not going to be the same for each of them. Therefore, using your parental instincts, evaluate each of your children in the areas of age, physical abilities, and safety preparedness in order to determine the right answer.

Are they old enough to go to the bathroom by themselves?

Age is only part of the equation. Potty trained or not, no parent would allow their toddler to go potty in a private, let alone public, restroom alone. Then again, most parents wouldn’t think twice about their teenager going. In most cases, school age is a good place to start considering the possibilities. Then again your preschooler or kindergartener might still have problems when unaccompanied. First graders are generally six or seven, and have been potty trained for a while. If you are confident that your first grader can accomplish the task solo, you might want to consider the possibility.

The other side of the age factor is that most younger children don’t want to go by themselves. Even at home they may come to you whenever the urge hits them. It is not unusual for them to either ask you to sit with them, or come up with an urgent question or topic that must be discussed at the very same moment they are using the potty. This is a clear indicator that they are not ready for independence, no matter how much you want them to be at times.

Are they able to go to the bathroom by themselves?

There are several factors that determine ability, the obvious one being is the child potty trained, and for how long? Most little ones aren’t really good at wiping themselves, or even tall enough to reach the sink without a stool. A child’s clothing can also be a factor. An outfit that is difficult to get in and out of might pose a problem when trying to use the bathroom. There are also children that are either physically or mentally challenged, or that are developmentally slow, that will need assistance beyond other kids their age.

Maturity is another ability factor. Regardless of age, if a child is infamous for playing in the bathroom, it’s probably not a good idea to send them in by themselves. That is, unless you don’t mind going in behind them and cleaning up their mess, or waiting for long periods of time while they entertain themselves or redecorate. Also, if a child is truly mature enough, they will start to insist on going on their own. This is especially true for boys. They generally start asking to go to the boy’s/men’s bathroom instead of the girl’s/women’s around the age of five or six, possibly even younger.

How prepared are they for potential health and safety issues in the bathroom?

The word “public” means “available or open to everyone.” People from all walks of life, with varying degrees of cleanliness and healthiness, will use a public restroom on any given day. Therefore, the level of cleanliness is an unknown factor. Even if a bathroom looks clean, it is imperative that a person wash his or her hands after using a public restroom. It might not be advisable to sit directly on the seat, either.

Children that don’t know any better, especially young children, will touch anything and everything. Their curiosity will get the best of them with, at times, total disregard for any health risk. The majority of people have a tendency to be a bit more lax about this when the bathroom appears to be well cleaned. Well cleaned or not, one can never be too careful, especially children. If a child doesn’t wash their hands really well and has a tendency to put them in their mouth, it’s probably not a good idea to allow them to access a public restroom solo.

Aside from the health issues, the most important factor is the safety of your child. Unfortunately, there are many people in this world who blur the line between appropriate and inappropriate behavior, to put it nicely, especially when it comes to children. There are individuals that prey on children in places where their parents may not necessarily be, such as public bathrooms. If a mother sends her son into the men’s bathroom, it is nearly impossible for her to prevent someone from behaving in an inappropriate manner in front of or to her child. The key in dealing with health and safety issues in public restrooms is education. Children need to be educated about the potential hazards of public restrooms and how to handle them.

They are ready to use the bathroom by themselves.

Once it has been determined that a child is old enough and capable, and understands appropriate bathroom behavior, then they are ready to try it out on their own. One way to do this is to walk into the bathroom with them, but stand back and let them do their thing, stepping in only when they are doing something they shouldn’t or wrong, or if they ask for help. If they are doing something wrong, verbal reminders or cues are best unless urgent assistance is needed.

When the child has mastered doing it by themselves, with guardian on the sidelines, they are ready to try it completely solo. This would include walking them to the bathroom, but waiting outside while they take care of business. For mothers with boys, they would need to start here since they are not allowed in the men’s room. If the child is seeming to take too long, it is acceptable to open the door or peek in and ask them if everything is okay.

Independence is part of the natural growth and development process for all children. Some develop faster than others. Some have physical or mental challenges that prohibit total independence. However, regardless of a child’s level of development, there will come a time when they are ready to assert their independence. Going to the bathroom by themself, especially a public one, is part of that assertion and a great step towards their autonomy.